“But this I say by way of concession, not of command. Yet I
wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift
from God, one in this manner, and another in that. But I say to the unmarried
and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do
not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn
with passion.” (1 Corinthians 7:6–9, NASB95)
These next instructions flow out of Paul’s response to this
first question of whether it was good or not for a “man not to touch a woman.” Paul’s
overriding first statement in response was to say that he wished, willed, or
desired that all men were single even as he was and experience the freedom of
ministry that came with his celibacy.
This is in contrast to the married person whose interests
are divided as Paul wrote later in this chapter. The married individual has
other considerations when making decisions and responsibilities that go beyond
caring for his or her own personal needs. While I have been married for
thirty-eight years I think I freshly understand what Paul was wiring about. My
wife and I are in the middle of a transition to a new ministry in a new
location. As a part of this transition I am spending considerable time away
from my them. I am loving the new role, but there are several times during the
day up there that I miss the presence of my family. And, when I am down with my
family I miss the opportunities for ministry in the new location. It is this
kind of divided interest that Paul referred to as not being a struggle for the
one who is single in his or her service to the Lord. He was not advocating
celibacy as much as he was recognizing the benefit for service that he had in
being single. This was a gift from God to him which was not the same for all. Everyone
is different in this regard as Paul indicated in his wording “one in this
manner, and another in that.” Unlike Paul, I know that I enjoy ministry much
more with my wife and family by my side. This is God’s gift as well.
But, he added, “to the married and to widows that it is good
for them if they remain even as [he].” Studying the New Testament, we clearly
see how God used this single man to accomplish so much. Paul traveled far and
wide, but he also spent considerable time in prison while being constantly called
upon to trust God for his welfare and even at times where his next meal would
come from. He did all of this without having the divided interest that he
referred to here and later in this same chapter. For those who were like him
Paul saw a similar advantage in how God would use if for their good and His
glory. But he also knew that this single life was not for everyone. In fact, it
was not for most. Paul knew that in general “it was not good for man to be
alone” (Genesis 2:18). It was for that reason that we read in the same verse
that God said, “… I will make him a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18,
NASB95) And, in verses 21-25 we see God meet this need in creating woman and
bringing them together as one.
Some people are quite comfortable being single. Others
struggle with it greatly. It is to this second group that Paul added, “But if
they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than
to burn with passion.” (1 Corinthians 7:9, NASB95) The single person and even
the widow are not required to remain as they are. There is freedom in choosing
to marry, and this is especially so when they meet that right person and their
passions are ignited. Having said this, we don’t have to look far to know that there
are many in our culture that would dearly love to be married but who are not. Additionally,
there are those who are walking through this season of life without their
spouse due to his or her death. While Paul’s answer here does not answer those
struggles, we know that our God is intimately familiar, He knows our deepest
desires, and He is good who makes us to stand strong in Christ.
Paul presented this in the form of a lack of self-control,
and for some this is a huge issue. You may not have to look further than your
own life and the strong sexual desire that you had for you spouse prior to your
marriage or for those that are widowed and long for the closeness you once
shared. You might even look at how you may have succumbed to those desires with
either your spouse or someone else prior to your marriage. And, you can
definitely look outside to culture and the types of things you see and hear in
the media or watch on the streets. These desires can be strong, and for some
they can seem to be consuming. Whether reigned in appropriately or left to
wreak havoc, this desire is real and for that person Paul says it is much
better to marry that to burn with its passion.
It is no sin to have passion and to want to be united with another. God
created us to come together in the one man and one woman relationship of
marriage. Attraction and desire are strong magnets in this process. But this
magnet can be abused and the restraints that God put in place ignored. This was
the problem of the Corinthian church and one which led to the “not touching”
question. Paul’s response was it’s a good thing to be single and to be able to
serve freely. It is also a good thing to be married. But, whether you are
single or married do it God’s way recognizing that both are a gift from Him.
No comments:
Post a Comment